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Reset Your Presets

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Happy New Year!  What I want to share with you today is another KEY POINT in our teachings at Quma Learning—a point that I cover in more depth in my new Ownership Spirit – The One Grand Key That Changes Everything Else.

One of the big benefits the comes from higher awareness of our own thought processes is that we can learn to coach our own thinking.  And, one of of those coaching Key Points I call Resetting Our Presets.

What are our PRESETS?  Well, they’re our preconceived notions or pre-existing interpretations that we carry around with us all the time.  We all have a tendency to pre-hear what someone is saying based on our preset judgment about that person.  Without realizing, we make assumptions about their motives and intentions.  We make assessments about their experience and intelligence. And so on.  In other words, before they’ve said one word, we have a preset expectation as to whether or not we are going like or value what we are about to hear. 

Unless we Reset our Presets we close down our listening and create disconnection.  

The good news is that none of us need be victims of our presets. We can coach our-selves to set aside our preconceptions. For example, take your self-centered next door neighbor, the one that monopolizes every conversation. You could reset a preset by assuming the best in his motives–maybe he’s not the manipulator you think he is.  Even if he is, you could coach yourself to be more ‘open-minded’ and actually look for the “gold” in what he’s saying.  The results that can come from that Reset of your Presets may surprise you!  

Unless we Reset Our Presets, we might not really be listening at all. Our presets may be so dominant that our receptors are entirely blocked, and we wind up hearing only what we think we were going to hear all along.  

One more quick example.  A while ago my wife and I attended a conference at which a very successful couple spoke candidly about the secret to their successful marriage.  The woman said, “The biggest key was our decision to set aside our tendency to try to change one another and we decided to work at just getting along with one another.”  

I’ve used that idea in a number of ways since that conference.  I’ve used it in my marriage and I’ve used it in my business. Resetting My Preset from “finding ways to fix” to “finding ways to just get along,” has paid huge dividends for me over the years.

I trust this Key Point will do the same for you.  Once again, Happy New Year!

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Comments
  • Jarold Welker

    Dr Deaton,

    In the vernacular of he 70’s, “Right On.” True leadership requires deep listening and when our ‘Presets’ get in the way, that is nearly impossible without putting ‘stories’ to the messages we receive.

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